Matthew from Age 7 to 8

Matthew. I am so sorry you had to experience what you did this past year. As the oldest, you understood more than your brothers. You took on more responsibilities. And God gave you the chance to flex your talents, which you did so capably.

With your Type 4/2 personality, you saw what needed to be done and did it. The week your dad got cancer, you decided that Isaac was ready to be potty trained. So you potty trained him. You put on the Elmo’s Potty Time DVD and ran him to the potty and cheered for him each time he went. And do you know what? You did a better job than I could have. Within the week he was potty trained.

You can make breakfast for yourself and your brothers: cereal, cinnamon toast, or oatmeal. You packed your own lunch all year. You did your homework independently. You remembered to bring your lunch box home!!! You got introduced to stamp collecting and cub scouts and Encyclopedia Brown and Geronimo Stilton (you especially liked the fantasy series) and the Christopher Healy “A Hero’s Guide to…” Books. You desperately want to read any book you see your dad reading.

You learned that having talents is good, but it’s more important to develop and use your talents for good. You used your reading talent to calm and contain your little brothers, often while I was busy hooking your dad up to a magnesium line or trying to help him get his vomiting or heartburn or migraines under control. I didn’t have to ask. You intuitively knew what needed to be done, grabbed a book, and gathered your brothers. You transitioned from reading the picture scriptures to reading the text-only scriptures.

You like schedules that are written down on the chalk board with items that can be marked off. You like Monopoly; Regular Monopoly, Disney Monopoly, and Star Wars Monopoly. In fact, you like any game that takes a lot of strategy and time to play. You like timers because they are precise and predictable and fair. You like Star Wars. You have memorized every conceivable anything related to Star Wars: you know all the weapons, ships, characters, plot lines, planets, etc. even though you hadn’t seen any of the shows yet.

You like talking with grown-ups and being recognized for your intelligence. “Yeah, yeah, I already knew that” is a new staple phrase in your vernacular. You talk with confidence about things you’ve never heard of because you like being in the know. You love to laugh and make silly faces and use potty humor. I think that most boys do.

I taught you that 3 hand squeezes means “I love you.” But when you squeeze my hand, you squeeze it infinitely. You want to know that you are loved too. You want talking time each night, even if you can’t think of anything to talk about. And when I finish tucking you into bed, one hug is never enough.

Your mind works clearly and precisely on problems. You have an enviable memory.  When you feel things, you shout out all your emotions. Then you go upstairs and think about it, and before we know it, you’re back downstairs, having logically thought everything through and you’re calm and balanced again. Your dad and I often marvel at how you work through things better than we did at your age.

You NEED alone time every day. Without it, you get very cranky with everyone. You have recently discovered a talent for music. I’ve always thought you had my fingers. They were meant to be on the piano (and any other instrument you want, by the way). We found the perfect teacher for you; nice, but pushes you to your potential.

You’ve only been playing for two weeks, but we see the way you soak up the music, like it’s a code you’ve got to crack. After a 45 minute lesson, your teacher turned to me and said, “His mind…it’s still going….most kids are burned out by now. But I’m going to keep going because his mind is still going.” I hope that music will help you and bring you joy and peace.

You have a professor voice. It matter-of-factly states that your dad had cancer, that he hates taking his Beclomethasone, that he gets chemo once a month. That you don’t know if you are interested in being a doctor; you like Science, primarily Biology and Zoology. Your professor voice talks to us adults in a way we understand, but with the faith of a child. You tell us that things will work out, because you prayed that they would.

You have emerged into this confident, faith-filled individual.

We love you just the way you are.

This was you from age 7 to 8: